All right! Figured out how to get on from the school computers! Awesome! Thank you, public school kids! This is awesome! Now I have a way to spend the next thirty minutes of my study hall! So I'm back from Easter break. I went to Wisconsin for a few days, got to hang out with my brother Josh and some of my cousins. My soon-to-be brother-in-law changed his name from Josh to Josh X because it sounded more awesome, I played Halo 3 on XBOX Live and got to pwn people I don't know, and Levi showed me Maple Story, which I've already written about. A good time was had by all.
Now I'm back. No more sleeping in past lunch or staying up later than is sane. No more getting away with thinking that not exercising will be easy to make up for when I get back, no more snacks whenever I get hungry... But, then again, now I have a social life again. Kind of. When I feel self-confident enough. Which I'm not, usually. That might explain the lack of girlfriend. Stupid self-destructive habits. Does that make me a hypocrite for giving other people advice?
I was in a bad spot last year with one of my friendships. I got out of it during the summer, but did I really? It's not as bad, but old habits die hard. I've been doing this for years. My best friend in gradeschool alienated me a little bit, but he was my best friend, so I figured I would just stick with him. After he moved to Africa (no joke), I just existed. I didn't miss him so much, but I had nobody left, and I just accepted that. I didn't even bother trying to bring myself into the other side of the lunch table. Only until recently, I hadn't realized that I could have been friends during the time when people are most accepting. I'm starting to realize it was my fault for being lonely.
Writing this has helped me make up my mind. I'm going to work for a happier me. I'm not going to avoid looking at the metaphorical mirror anymore. I'm going to stare myself in the face, and I'm going to like what I see, whether I want to or not.
Now I'm back. No more sleeping in past lunch or staying up later than is sane. No more getting away with thinking that not exercising will be easy to make up for when I get back, no more snacks whenever I get hungry... But, then again, now I have a social life again. Kind of. When I feel self-confident enough. Which I'm not, usually. That might explain the lack of girlfriend. Stupid self-destructive habits. Does that make me a hypocrite for giving other people advice?
I was in a bad spot last year with one of my friendships. I got out of it during the summer, but did I really? It's not as bad, but old habits die hard. I've been doing this for years. My best friend in gradeschool alienated me a little bit, but he was my best friend, so I figured I would just stick with him. After he moved to Africa (no joke), I just existed. I didn't miss him so much, but I had nobody left, and I just accepted that. I didn't even bother trying to bring myself into the other side of the lunch table. Only until recently, I hadn't realized that I could have been friends during the time when people are most accepting. I'm starting to realize it was my fault for being lonely.
Writing this has helped me make up my mind. I'm going to work for a happier me. I'm not going to avoid looking at the metaphorical mirror anymore. I'm going to stare myself in the face, and I'm going to like what I see, whether I want to or not.
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